Chivalry Is Dead dot com
by AppleCherry108
Summary: Worlds collide! In a semi epic fight, some of anime's 20 hottest guys compete for the girl they love. Some series include: Tsubasa RC, Chrono Crusade, DNAngel, Fruits Basket, InuYasha, Rayearth, Tokyo Mew Mew, Teen Titans, and more!
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: Okay, this is cross-over-palooza! In order of appearance (of shows), it goes: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles (or Cardcaptors, which ever way you want to look at it), Chrono Crusade, DNAngel, Fruits Basket, Inu-Yasha, Magic Knight Rayearth, .Hack/Legend of the Twilight, Tokyo Mew Mew, Teen Titans, Prétear, Escaflowne (the show), W.i.t.c.h., One Piece, and Shaman King. Yes, there ARE a lot of them, aren't there?

(Sub-Note: This story makes fun of some of the hottest anime guys, so laugh along or get along. But the jokes aren't THAT bad… I hope).

* * *

It was past midnight. Syaoran was still up, 'surfing' (as the inhabitants of this world would say) the web. It intrigued him so much information could fit into such a tiny box. This was by far the most technologically advanced country Mokona had sent them to thus far. Syaoran was just about ready to call it a night when he saw a flashing icon in the bottom right corner of the window. Like being guided by some unseen force, he clicked on it, and waited. And waited, and waited and… you get the idea. When it finally DID load, he had to read the screen twice. 'What a weird website' he thought. It took at least 20 minutes to load. Defiantly NOT worth the wait, for all that was on the screen was a 12-font message that read 'Are you chivalrous?' and right below the question were two buttons to click; YES and NO. "I guess," mumbled Syaoran as he clicked the YES button. And then he was—

**X-1**

* * *

Chrono quietly opened the door to look in on his little sleeping angel. Rosette had fallen asleep in front of the computer—again. He smiled to himself. 'She'll never change.' He thought. "?" Chrono looked at the screen. There was a blinking message that said 'Are you chivalrous?' with two buttons below it—'yes' and 'no'. At a fleeting thought, Chrono took hold of the mouse and clicked the 'yes' option, just to amuse himself. But then he was— 

**X-2

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**

'Come on, Daisuke, when are you going to call it a night?' whined Dark within the short red-head's mind.

"When I find what Riku wanted me to find." He responded irritably.

'Kid, I don't think she ACTUALLY expects you to find anything about 'Demons and Holy wars of the 19th century. I'm pretty sure she was teasing you.'

"Well, she sounded serious to ME." Dark mentally stuck his tongue out at Daisuke. "I saw that!" he yelled, but still stuck his tongue out in return. A beeping noise from his laptop tore Daisuke away from his feud with his inner self. A flashing banner ad was practically screaming 'CLICK ME!'. So he did. "Chivalry is dead dot com?" asked Daisuke dumbly. "Am I chivalrous?"

'If you ask me, that's a big fat 'NO'!' taunted Dark.

"Oh yeah? Well I'll show YOU who's chivalrous. …yes." said Daisuke with a double click of the touch pad. Unfortunately for him, he was then—

**X-3-4

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**

"Kyo-kun!" shouted Tohru gleefully from downstairs in the kitchen. "Dinner will be ready in a couple of minutes!"

"Mmhm…" replied Kyo half-heartedly. He was too engrossed in some fanfic that he had found online to care less when dinner would be ready. It was about some guy with a dangerous power who was in love with a beautiful young girl; or something like that. Just then, a pop-up ad caught his attention. Paying no heed to the fact that it could give his computer a virus, Kyo clicked on it. 'Are you chivalrous?' He read mentally. "Sure, why not?" And with that, he clicked the 'yes' button under the question.

Poor Kyo, he nearly had a heart attack when he was—

**X-5

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**

"Inu-Yasha, for the last time, GET OFF MY COMPUTER!" screamed Kagome for the umpteenth time that night. Her parents had finally gotten her a computer as a birthday present, and now, when at last she had found the time to return home and use it, Inu-Yasha was all over it—and he wouldn't get off. "Inu-Yasha! You're scratching the keys with your claws!"

"Chill out, Kagome. I'm not hurting it… that much." Kagome let out a very, very long, frustrated scream—waving her arms every which way. A little 'bong-bing' noise from the computer caught his attention. It was a flashing banner ad that—you can guess what it says—he felt he MUST click on. So he did.

"Inu-Yasha, if you click on that stupid pop-up ad and give my BRAND NEW computer a virus I'll—I said don't cli—"

Inu-Yasha was very happy when he could no longer hear Kagome's nagging. But still, he wasn't very keen on the fact that he was then—

**X-6-7

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**

"Knock it off you two!" shouted Umi at Fuu and Ferio. Ferio was determined that today was the day he'd get his first kiss from Fuu. Unfortunately, all Fuu could do about it was giggle wildly, effectively pushing Ferio away. "You three finally get the chance to come to our world, and now all you wanna do is flirt with your girlfriend?" At this, Hikaru and Lantis turned to her; they obviously hadn't been paying any attention to Umi what so ever. In fact, the only person that was listening was Clef. "Hikaru," grumbled Umi between gnashed teeth. "Will you PLEASE get off of his lap and take this seriously?" Hikaru pouted slightly, but nevertheless, she slowly slipped out of her seated position on Lantis to stand behind Umi; her arms lingered around his neck for more than a few moments. "Thank you." She sighed exasperatedly.

"So Umi," started Clef. "What is it you wanted to show us?"

"If you'll wait a minute, I'll show you—it's a surprise!" Just then, a cookie made its way on to the computer screen. Ferio took hold of the mouse and clicked on it. "Hey!" yelled Umi.

"Am I chivalrous?" he asked, reading the screen. Fuu giggled madly—yes. So he clicked on the 'yes' option. That day wasn't going anything like Umi had planned. And—oooh—was Ferio in a world of hurt. She was going to clobber him, just as soon as they were finished being—

**X-8-9-10

* * *

**

"Shugo? Are you sure you can login on to THE WORLD by yourself?" asked Rena cautiously.

"Of course, I've done it like, a million times."

"No, I'VE done it 'like a million times'. This is your first." Shugo blew out his cheeks childishly. Still, he entered his user name and password, just as he'd been taught. But he must've done something horribly wrong, because at that the exact moment he pressed the 'enter' key, he was—

**X-11

* * *

**

"What're you doing, Kish?" asked Tart curiously.

"I'm checking out this world wide web that all the earthlings always talk about."

"Hey, Tasuku! What'cha doin'?" chirped Berri.

"Playing online." He said simply.

"But… We have work in like two minutes at the café."

"Don't worry—I'll be done in three seconds."

A pop-up ad. They both click, and they both get—

**X-12-13

* * *

**

"Brother—" started Al before Ed was—

**X-14

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**

Beast Boy paused his typing to look at the twelve inch strip of photos taped to the frame of his computer. He ran his thumb carefully over the smiling girl in all six pictures. No matter how much time passed, she would always smile… for him. BB sighed, resuming his typing.

'Man,' he thought drearily. 'I hate writing these reports. Robin was there, why does he need MY POV of the mission?' BB glanced around, even though it was his room, he checked for any unwanted wandering eyes. He saved his word file, closed it, and opened the internet explorer. He went to Google and started typing in random words like 'super robot monkeys' and 'tofu game-station'. He eventually found one that said 'The Source of All Evil—A tofu fan site'. Being as bored as he was, he clicked the site without any regard to what was really on it. He half expected it to be The Source's blog, but he also half expected it to be some shojo-ai hentai site. So naturally, when the message 'Are you chivalrous?' popped up, he was taken completely off guard. Again, he glanced at the smiling photos of the girl and then back at the com screen. 'Anything's better than typing these stupid reports.' He thought as he clicked 'yes'.

He had no idea what awaited him after he was—

**X-15

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**

"Kei, stop flirting with my sister! Shin, Hajime, those are NOT toys!" 'Crash!' went Himeno's porcelain dolls. "Go, no! Not my dad's video games!" 'Bzzt!'—an electrical short circuit destroyed the video games. "Mannen, be careful with my books an—" 'Ker-plunk!' went the entire shelf. "Sasame, help!"

"Mm?" he asked. Sasame turned; he was stuffing his face with dumplings. Himeno groaned.

"Hayate, what are YOU doing?" she turned to the tall black haired man sitting at her computer. He had just clicked on what seemed like a pop-up ad or something. "Tell me you didn't!" Himeno's day was just going to get worse. Hayate barely had enough time to turn to Himeno from the computer before he was—

**X-16

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**

"Van? What're you doing?" asked Hitomi serenely as she brought in some snacks for the two. The handsome young man turned to her and smiled brightly.

"I'm checking out some of the technology from your world."

"Well, just be careful, okay? That's my new laptop."

"Okay," You can guess what happens next. For then they were—

**X-17

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**

"Gimme back my cell phone, Caleb!" shouted the tall, fourteen year old Blondie as she jumped at the brunet beside her. "I just got that thing fixed!"

"Relax, Corny. I'll give it back… eventually." Cornelia growled at him, taking another jump for the phone.

"That has all my text, pix, and e-mail on it, so GIVE-IT-BACK!"

"Hang on a minute, will 'ya? … Awesome, this thing's got Wi-Fi!"

"Duh! I practically just said that!"

"Hm?" Caleb blinked, doing a double take as he looked at the miniature screen. "Am I chivalrous?"

"Under different circumstances, I'd say yes, but now," she made another failed attempt to snatch the phone away. She screamed out her pent up frustration. 'Click', he pressed the button. Of course, he was immediately—

**X-18

* * *

**

… (You don't WANT to know how Luffy got internet access)—

**X-19

* * *

**

"MANTA! Where's Yoh?" demanded Anna.

"He ran away, with MY laptop." Anna seized Manta's ear and dragged him away to help her look for Yoh. They saw a bright flash of light some distance outside behind the house. Yoh. They ran over to the origin, but all they found was Manta's laptop that had this message plastered on the screen in very large, very friendly letters with a little smiley face under it:

"Thank you for being chivalrous. See you on the other side!"

**X-20

* * *

**

—sucked into the computer screen and whisked off to another dimension.

**X-1-20

* * *

**

"Interaction complete… Processing data… Data analysis complete, well brother, I believe our collection is complete. Our guests should be arriving any moment now…" Insert evil laughter and bloody letters reading

To Be Continued…

Insert more evil laughter.

**X**

**X**

**X**

End Note: Yeah, I know it was kind of long and kind of repetitive, but next chapter, mwa ha ha… FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! Please R and R! (I think it means 'read and review', I'm not sure, but that's what I'm going to say it is).


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any characters mentioned in this story except for Solez, she's mine, I made her up.

**Author's Note:** I'm sorry. I lied. This chapter doesn't have the first round of fights in it, but I promise to get the NEXT chapter (which DOES have the fights in it) up as soon as I can. Also, for all of you Prétear fans, I would like to apologize for the way I portrayed Sasame. At the time that I wrote the first chapter of this story, I had only read the first book of Prétear. And now, I own all 13 episodes on DVD, so these are my thoughts on Sasame now: SO FRICKIN' COOL! Also in this chapter, special guest appearance, Harry Potter!

**ChivalryIsDead(dot)com/Chapther2autographs **

"…ee…" _a faint scream,_ "…aiee…" _becomes louder,_ "AAAHHH!" _until,_

20 people came crashing out of the ceiling and painfully landed on the floor of a large, white, circular room.

The one with short, spiked, brown hair, Yoh, stood up first to take in the scenery of the vast room. He let out a low whistle. "Cool… and no Anna either." As he turned around, he heard a grunt from under his feet. Yoh looked down to see that he was standing atop another boy with short brown hair. "Hey," he asked. "What'cha doing down there?"

"Being crushed by you, obviously." sputtered Caleb.

"… Now why would you want to do that?" Caleb sighed.

"mmrmph" The two brunets on the top of the giant pile looked down. "mmrmph" They looked at each other. "I said, 'mmrmph'!" yelled a young man wearing a straw hat as he shoved the first two off. Caleb and Yoh hit the ground simultaneously with a loud _'THUD'_. Yoh couldn't believe his eyes when a green hamster came crawling out of the pile and transformed into an all green boy who flopped down beside the other two. "Yeep!" yelled Luffy from the top as he came tumbling down; an angel of all things had accidentally pushed him while surfacing for air. Then the angel was knocked down when yet another man with black hair pushed his way to the top. Then that man fell over the edge, knocked off by what appeared an eleven year old blond wearing a long red coat. Then (saving the others on the bottom quite a bit of trouble), a large blast scattered all 20 people across the room.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?" demanded the one with dog ears.

"Too…many…BOYS…" cried Miroku.

"Sorry," said a little boy with white hair. "That may have been a tad excessive."

"YOU THINK?" shouted the blond with the red coat."

Seeing all the other men there, who appeared to be fighters, some of them started to get paranoid. They started yelling and throwing threats at each other, until

"SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU!" They all stopped, turned, and stared at the small figure approaching them. It was a young girl, no more than twelve, with long black hair and an irritated smile on her face. "Just be quiet, all of you!"

"Why should we listen to a little brat like you?" snorted Inu-Yasha. The girl raised her hand to him; in it was a remote controller. She pressed a button and Inu-Yasha, and only Inu-Yasha, was electrocuted.

"That's why." She released the button. Inu-Yasha nodded, fingers twitching, and a few strands of his hair were singed. "That's what I thought. Now," she turned to address the large group that had gathered around the two. "My brother and I have brought you all here for a very important reason. Out of the millions of people in the world, you twenty are the first to answer 'yes' to being chivalrous." The boys stared at her, not knowing what to think. A few awkward moments passed like this until the girl got angry. "IT'S RUDE TO STARE!" The majority of the boys took a startled step backward at the girl's sudden outburst. Once again, she hit the button that shocked Inu-Yasha. Then, after another awkward moment of watching the singed half-demon twitch, one of the boys stepped foreword. It was Chrono.

"Excuse us, Miss," he started in that wonderfully sweet voice of his. "But could please tell us the real reason that we're here for?"

"Yes… of course… anything for you, Chrono." She drooled. She had gone into some sort of 'super floaty' mode, or as the boys would call it; 'even more annoying'. She cleared her throat. "Anyway, the real reason you all are here, is to compete to determine which of you is the strongest and smartest."

"Uh… Where exactly is here?" asked the boy with blue hair.

"Ah, good question Shugo. Or do you prefer to be called Kite?"

"Uhh…"

"HEY! Just how the hell do you even know our names?" shouted the short one with the red coat.

"Oh, Ed, how could I be so rude? My name is Solez." She said dreamily.

"What the hell? Are you being nice to me just because I'm…I'm…"

"Vertically challenged? Oh, heavens no! I don't think that you're short at all. I think you're wonderful…" she went back to her 'super floaty' mode and somehow, Ed got dragged into it too.

"How exactly are we competing, and why should we participate?" asked Hayate.

"You'll build up, and possibly lose, a system of points for the battles you win and the other various activities you participate in. And as for WHY you'll be fighting," Solez aimed her remote at the wall. The white wall was then replaced by a large window showing the boys 20 sleeping girls—THEIR girls. (Just to name them all (in order of mentioned series (see Chapter 1)) Sakura, Rosette, Riku, Risa, Tohru, Kagome, Sango, Hikaru, Umi, Fuu, Rena (Black Rose), Ichigo, Berri, Terra, Himeno, Hitomi, Cornelia, Nami, and Anna). "If you don't participate, then your little girlfriends will go to my brother. And if you lose, they'll go to my brother."

"And just who's your brother?" asked Kyo.

"Zelos." They stared at her, utterly confused. Solez rolled her eyes. Then, she pointed to Miroku. "Think that guy, only better and more successful at what he does."

Then, behind the window with the girls, appeared Zelos in his entire pinkness. "If you lose, I win." He said with a smug grin on his face.

The boys gasped and took several steps backward. "You wouldn't dare!" shouted Kish.

"That's horrible!" screamed Yoh.

"What's the big deal?" asked Inu-Yasha. The others shot him surprised look.

"He'll woo your girlfriend and she'll never want to come back to you!"

"So? That brat's got Kagome back there, not Kikyo." Miroku smacked him upside the head.

"You idiot! If it was Kikyo back there, you'd say the same thing about Kagome."

"Would not!"

"Would too!"

"STOP!" Solez pushed the 'zap' button again to shut Inu-Yasha up. "The only reason you OR Kagome are here, is because my brother wanted her for his collection."

"Err…" the boys stared at her.

"My brother and I have very different ideas for our 'collections'. His is keeping those girls with him forever." The boys scowled. "But I cut you all a break, and if you can beat my challenges, you'll get them back."

"What's your idea for a 'collection' then?" asked Chrono.

"This," Solez scuttled up to Chrono, and held out a red notebook and pen to him. She was blushing and she had reverted back to 'super floaty' mode. "Can I have your autograph?" she asked shakily.

"…"

"Pweaseys, with a chewwy on top?" she converted her 'super floaty' mode to 'ultra cute' mode. Chrono couldn't resist. Before he knew it, he had taken the notebook and opened to the first page, and signed it. Solez squealed with delight as she took back her notebook and danced around with it held close to her heart. "I have Chrono's autograph! And it's the very first one in my book!" she sighed.

…

"Ed, will you please sign next?" This autograph signing doom-ness continued for several minutes, until Solez had all she wanted. "There," she sighed. "My collection is complete."

"Hey," said Inu-Yasha. "What about us?" Solez had neglected to force Inu-Yasha, Lantis, and Hayate to sign.

"Oh… I don't really want YOUR signatures in here, it would… defile it."

"…"

"OOH! But I know who I DO want in here." She reached for her remote, fumbled it slightly, and hit a button. Within a second, four new boys were falling through the ceiling. This time though, Solez hit another button which made them land softly on their feet. She shuffled up to the first one, a white haired little boy. "I love you so much—can I have your autograph?"

"WHAT? You want Mannen's but not MINE?" demanded Hayate.

"Hayate, what're you doing here?" asked Mannen as he signed in the notebook.

"No time for talk, thanks and byes!" said Solez quickly before zapping Mannen back to where he came from. She then proceeded to another small boy. "Can you sign to?" she asked all floaty-like. Lantis grunted, clearly (if only slightly) jealous of Ascot. "Please and thankies!" chirped Solez as she zapped Ascot back to Cephiro. She turned for the next boy, but he had wondered off. "Harry? Where'd you go?"

"I say," said the British, cartoonified eleven year old. "Where the bloody hell am I?" Ed slowly inched over to him. "No matter, for at last, I have uncovered it—the Philosopher's Stone!"

"AH HA!" shouted Ed, leaping at the boy. "I knew it! (Ahem!) Hey kid, mind sharing that thing with me? Or even just let me see it for a minute, come on?"

"Are you daft? Do you know what I had to go through to get this?"

"Do you know how many people I'd have to kill to make a new one? … Actually, killing you is a heck of a lot less, considering the alternative."

"I say, why are you looking at me like that?"

"GIVE ME THE DAMN STONE!"

"EEP!"

"What are they doing over there?" asked Solez.

"I say, I'm going to kick your ass, bastard!"

"It's called equivalent exchange, bitch!"

"Knock it off, you two!" shouted Solez at the two fighting boys.

"I dare you to try that again, Shorty!"

"WHAT WAS THAT, FOUR EYES?"

'_BZZT!'_ Solez zapped the boy back to his own universe. She sighed. "Maybe it was a bad idea to bring him here…"

"No… The Philosopher's Stone… So close… Almost…Had it…"

"Oh, get over it." said Solez as she kicked Ed who was lying on the ground looking extremely pathetic.

"Uh… Why am I here?" asked the last person whom Solez had stolen.

"OH NO! How on earth could I have forgotten?"(Maybe because this isn't earth?)

"…"

"Haru… Can I have your autograph?"

"…" Haru stared at Solez for a moment, looking at her from top to bottom. "She's like… a cross between Rin and… Kisa…" Haru stared at her for another moment, then, he did something so completely random, it was scary. "SO CUTE!" With that, he swept Solez up into his arms. No one was as stunned by these actions as Kyo, who almost fainted out of disbelief. Solez squealed with joy.

"Forget the autograph, you shall be my king!" Haru's only response was hugging tighter. "Now, please put me down my king." Haru did so. "Please and Thankies! Now, as for the rest of you, IT'S TIME TO FIGHT! The first battle will be," she held up her remote and pressed a new button on it. Two spotlights appeared from the ceiling and started going from boy to boy until they stopped on "VAN vs. DARK!"

X

X

X

**End Note:** You wouldn't believe how long it took me to write that…

Please R&R!

Please and Thankies:)

(P.S.: The Ed/Harry fight was inspired by the 173rd VG cats comic "Wise Advice". Check it out at vgcats(dot)com (the reason I do (dot) for websites, is because FanFiction(dot)net won't show it if it has the actual period. But any way,) go to **archives** and find #173. Also, if you don't know how annoying Zelos looks, I urge you to do a Google image search for "Zelos"; he'll be the one with pink hair.)

(P.P.S.: For those who don't know,

Zelos is from the video game "Tales of Symphonia",

Haru is from "Fruits Basket,

Harry (that I used) is from "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's (Philosopher's) Stone,

Mannen is from "Prétear",

And Ascot is from "Magic Knight Rayearth".)


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** Yeah, I know, it's short. Be thankful that I found the time to work on it between everything else... Enjoy! And yeah, it's just as random as the other chapters. I hope to get the next chapter up, SOON.

**ChivalryIsDead(dot)com/Chapter3WhyIsEveryoneFainting?

* * *

**

She held up her remote and pressed a new button on it. Two spotlights appeared from the ceiling and started going from boy to boy until they stopped on "VAN vs. DARK!" The two dark angels looked at each other.

'_This should be interesting.' _thought Van.

'_This should be easy.' _thought Dark.

'_This should be SEXY!' _thought Solez, a thin line of drool hanging from her mouth. **Well duh! It's going to be sexy, '20 hottest anime guys', remember?**_ Shut up, you stupid author!_ **Make me! **_I'll call Nick, I'm not afraid to. _**You wouldn't dare, **_Hello Nick? _**Alright, alright, I give! **_That's what I thought. _**Bite me. **_WHAT WAS THAT?_** Nothing. Anyway, back to the story…**_ Oh yeah… THAT._ "On the count of three, you may begin the match. Oh, and you other guys, you might want to step into the other room." And with that, Solez pressed yet another button on her magic remote and another large glass window with a door appeared; the 18 rejects—I mean—other contestants stepped in. Solez followed them and then pulled out a microphone to speak to the two boys in the larger room. "The rules are simple,"

"There are rules?" asked Dark in disbelief.

"Yes, now, first one to not be able to attack loses! All magic and demonic powers are free, no strings attached. But please, don't kill each other. Now, on the count of three, One—Two—" Rinnnngggggg... "Hold on a minute," Solez took out a cell phone. "Hello? … Uh huh… why didn't you do this sooner? … Can't you do it tonight? … Piano lessons, right. When's it due? … Tomorrow? Okay, Bye Melody." She hung up her phone, looked at it for a moment, and then crushed it in a vice like grip. "Alrighty, change of plans. I need to go to the, err…'library' for a while. So, until I come back, make yourselves at home, 'kay?" She pushed another button on the remote and POOF! TVs, video games, computers, FOOD! Anything a boy could want (except some Play Boy magazines) was now in the room. Solez exited the room from a door with an 'EXIT' sign hanging above it. Huh… Why hadn't they noticed that before? Miroku rushed over to the door and tried to open it. But alas! It was painted onto the wall. Damn that remote.

X

X

X

Next day, will Caleb and Clef were watching the news, they saw a very interesting report. "Late last night, a teenaged high school girl named Melody Chan was found dead at a local library. The top suspect is a young girl with black hair and green eyes. Witnesses say…" They stared at the television set. It couldn't be…could it? Just then, Solez walked in through the painted exit. Whipping her hands of…something…_red_. Caleb and Clef exchanged nervous glances.

"No that that's taken care of, we can proceed." She noticed Clef and Caleb staring at her. "What?" they shook their heads, not wanting to get on her bad side. She shooed the 18 boys who weren't fighting back into the other room. "Alright, ONE—TWO—THREE!" A loud buzzer went off, Dark and Van looked at each other. Were they supposed to start? "Oi vey. Need motivation, do ya?" She clicked the button that revealed the room where the girls were, only this time, Risa and Hitomi were awake.

"Van, how'd I get here?

"DARK! SAVE ME!" screamed Risa. The angels looked at the girls, then turned to each other and sported a Street Fighter-esc pose.

"FIGHT ALREADY!" yelled Solez, they nodded.

Dark, powering up a ball of black energy, charged at Van. Van dodged the attack, and several others that Dark threw at him. "What the hell?" yelled Dark. "I thought all magic and demonic powers were free?"

"Yeah, but you'll still get tired."

"Then what's the point?"

"You want harm your other half, or lose control."

"Great." Just then, Van threw a surprise attack at Dark, hitting him square in the back. He didn't get up—for about ten seconds.

"WINNER—VAN!" shouted Solez, coming out of the back room.

"WHAT? Dark, you lame-o, I can't believe you lost!" shouted Risa, pressing her hands to the glass window.

"Woohoo! Way two go, Van!" cheered Hitomi, Van blushed quite brightly.

"Yeah, yeah, all good and well—bye-bye, now!" said Solez as she hit a button making the steal cover spread across the girls' window. "Oh, and the loser boy's girl goes to my brother." Said Solez leaning sideways, talking to Risa as the cover went down.

"NOOOOOOO!" she cried as Zelos came onto the scene; the cover closed completely with a loud 'thud'!

"BITCH!" shouted Dark, turning to Solez. "I thought it was 'first one not able to attack loses'?"

"Oh, did I fail to mention the ten second rule?" Dark nodded angrily. "Oops…well, now you know." Dark ripped some of his hair out. **NO! Not the hair, anything but the hair!**_ Oh, shut up, stupid. _**Fine.** "Next up," Solez hit the spotlight button again. "(ugh)Inu-Yasha," she said drearily, she than squealed in delight to see the next contestant. "Vs. KYO!" she went into her 'super floaty mode'. She went back into the other room and opened the steal cover to the girls' room. This time, it was Tohru and Kagome.

"SO HELP ME, INU-YASHA, IF YOU DON'T WIN I'LL—I'LL—"

"Uh, um, uh… Sorry?"

"FIGHT!"

Almost automatically, Kyo transformed into his ultra-cool (or as others like to say smelly-ugly-disfigured) form. Inu-Yasha fainted instantly from the smell.

"WINNER—KYO!"

"DAMN IT, INU-YASHA!"

"Um, uh, um… Thank you?"

Kyo returned to normal, causing Inu-Yasha's swirl-ly eyes to cease and regain consciousness. "What happened?"

"You lost, B-atch!" shouted Solez gleefully. You can tell, she's not from the hood. "Next up," two new spotlights went searching for two more victims as Inu-Yasha and Kyo slinked back behind the safety glass. "Chrono vs. Miroku!" she shuttered.

Rosette and Sango appeared in the window across the room.

"WIN, OR ELSE!" shouted Rosette.

"WIN, OR ELSE!" shouted Sango. My, don't THEY get along nicely? The two boys shuttered at their choice in women.

"FIGHT!"

"Prepare to die, demon."

"NO KILLING!"

"…Prepare to feel my wrath, demon.

"Oh please, I deal with holy men every day."

"Try THIS on for size—WINDTUNNEL!" shouted Miroku as he opened his palm towards Chrono.

"Alright," Chrono then changed to his bigger form (note that the stop watch did NOT start ticking. WOOHOO! Big Chrono without killing Rosette!).

"Eep." POW! SMACK! BAM!

"WINNER—CHRONO!"

"WAHHH!" cried Sango, glancing over at Zelos.

"YES! Screw being a nun! Chrono, when we get out of this, you're going to get LUCKY!" Chrono, changing back to his little form, fainted blushing brightly. Rosette laughed evilly. She's not a very good nun, is she?

Solez, biting her knuckle (I want Chrono!) called out the next contestants. "Kish vs. Tasuku!"

Ichigo and Berri appeared in the window. "BERRI!" cries Tasuku, running to his girl to give her a hug. SMACK! Unfortunately, he forgot about the window. Owe…

Solez massaged her forehead. "Fight…" she said tiredly.

…

"Winner—Kish," Tasuku was still knocked out from his 'encounter' with the window. Solez sighed. NOTHING like she had planned… "Kite (Shugo) vs. Beast Boy!"

"Help, big brother!" cried Rena. (A/N: okay, this may have been confusing. But the girl that corresponds with the boy isn't ALWAYS his girlfriend. Like Shugo's most beloved girl is his sister; and Luffy… Well, Nami's the only girl he knows… (Tear…))

"…" Terra just kinda stared into space with her hands pressed up against the window. She smiled at Beast Boy, whose legs became wobbly at seeing the cute girl smile so warmly at him. He shook his head, preparing to battle.

"FIGHT!"

"Tell me, Kite," asked Beast Boy. "What are you afraid of?"

"Spiders, why?"

Beast Boy turned into a giant spider. Kite's face paled and he fainted. "WINNER—BEAST BOY!"

"…" Rena stared at her brother. "He never was very smart…"

"…" Terra smiled at Beast Boy again, and then HE fainted.

"Jeez," said Solez coming at into the larger room. "For anime's 20 hottest guys, you sure act like girls. With all the fainting and everything…" She shook her head and dragged the girly-men to the other room. "Next," she let the spotlights do their thing. "Syaoran vs. Caleb!" The two boys walked out to the larger room. "Ready? FI—" GRRRRRRR… "On second thought, let's take a lunch break."

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**End Note:** So tired… can't… keep… going… GOMEN NE! (sorry)


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:**

Me: Haha. This took WAY too long to write/post. So why now, you ask? Well, I'm putting off studying for midterms. Isn't that the best reason of them all?

Solez: You're just lazy, aren't you?"

Me: You finally noticed.

**ChivalryIsDead(dot)com/Chapter4JustFightAlready**

"There," said Solez, sitting down with the boys at a very large table. "Here's lunch!"

"…" The boys looked down at their plates; onigiri (rice balls). "HOW does this qualify as lunch?" demanded Kyo. His gaze fell to the cat shaped onigiri on his plate. "Trying to turn me into a cannibal, eh?"

"Look, you stupid cat," started King Haru getting to his feet. "This was all prepared by the lovely Solez. So eat it—or else."

"Make me."

"Umm…" said Solez waving her hand at the two boys, "Actually they came prepackaged, all I did was put them in the microwave."

"But you still prepared them for us, and THAT'S what counts."

"If you say so…"

Kyo sniffed some of the onigiri on the table, "BLEH!" he shouted. "Those are LEEK onigiri! There's nothing more disgusting!"

Haru reached out and grabbed Kyo's collar. "Look you pansy," he pulled his face closer to his own. "Eat it—like it—or I'll turn that not-so-pretty face of yours inside out."

"Who're you calling a pansy, you pansy!" shouted Kyo. That tears it. Haru let go of Kyo who took a fighting stance. "I hope you're ready to get your butt kicked, baka baka." (A/N: baka is Japanese for "stupid" it is also Spanish for "cow". So baka baka is "stupid cow".) "Cuz I'm bringing the hurt on!" The cat charged for the cow, but right before they had the chance to kill each other, Solez pressed yet another new button on her magic controller.

"QUIT IT!" she shouted. Both boys turned into little kids. "I can't say that I'm not surprised by your behavior. But honestly! Haru," Solez reverted into her ultra-cute mode, her eyes twinkled, cheeks flushing an adorable shade of fuchsia. "I thought that maybe—just maybe, you could keep from turning black—for me?"

"…! YOU'RE TOO CUTE!" cried Haru as he skipped over to Solez and gave her a great big hug.

"Wait," said Kyo, staring at the two. "Why don't you transform when you hug that girl, Haru? Unless—SHE'S A HE!"

Haru and Solez punched Kyo simultaneously. "Idiot." They both stated.

"You didn't have to hit me!" he yelled angrily.

"But it was so fun."

"Feh! …But really, why DON'T you transform?"

"I can explain," said Solez.

"You're not some random part of the zodiac, are you?" questioned Haru.

"Sadly, no… But I am able to hug you without you changing because… because of a special, wonderful magical thing," the boys leaned foreword, eager to hear the girl's secret. "Called plot holes." The all fell forewords. THAT'S her secret technique? Ugh…

"… Good enough for me." said Haru monotonously, resuming his hug.

"Now," started Solez, snuggling into Haru's embrace. "I've finished lunch, is everyone ready to resume the fighting? And I don't mean you two." She glared over at Kyo.

"Feh!" he muttered, clearly upset that he wasn't allowed to finish his fight."

"Okey dokey, where were we?"

"Me v. Syaoran." said Caleb, ready for a good fight.

"K'dinklie, everyone else, back here!" Solez marched toward the back room. Once everyone was safe from any potential harm, she picked up the microphone and shouted "FIGHT!"

The boys turned to the girls' window, hoping to see their cuties before duke-ing it out. And sure enough, there was Cornelia and Sakura.

"Hurry up and win," stated Cornelia irritably. "We can't exactly use magic back here."

"What she said…" sighed Sakura.

"Don't worry, you'll be out of there in no time." comforted Syaoran.

"Alright kid, bring it on!" Caleb charged at Syaoran, who ducked and threw a kick at the other boy. Caleb caught the foot and sent Syaoran flying across the room. He quickly recovered, well aware of the ten second rule. Syaoran ran towards Caleb and jumped into the air. He thrust his foot down once more, but Caleb dodged it again.

"Cool…" sighed Solez, munching on some popcorn that she got from who-knows-where. "Too bad the rest of the fights weren't this exciting." Haru nodded, still clinging to his queen. "OOH!" shouted Solez, jumping up. "This is it!"

Caleb threw a punch that hit Syaoran square on the jaw. He fell to the ground; Caleb pressed his foot down on Syaoran's chest so that he couldn't get up. "Had enough, kid?"

"No… where… near!" shouted Syaoran as he took hold of Caleb's foot, knocked him off balance, and threw him against the wall. He ran over and kicked him hard in the gut to keep him down.

"…Winner—SYAORAN!"

"CALEB!" screamed Cornelia in fright.

"Is he okay, Syaoran?" asked Sakura worriedly.

He nodded. "Just winded," The girls sighed in relief.

"…Oh CRAP!" screamed Corny, she sank to her knees behind the glass. "I'm going to that pink guy now, aren't I?" Solez nodded. "Nooooo…" the steel door closed over the window.

"… I can't believe I lost…" whispered Caleb, still slumped up against the wall. "I failed Cornelia…" He looked up; Syaoran was holding his hand out to him. Caleb took it and was helped up by the victor. "Thanks,"

"You put up a great fight." They shook hands, smiling at each other.

"…!" Solez watched the two with teary eyes. "Now THAT'S Chivalry! Ten extra points for Syaoran and Caleb!"

"Wait, what ARE these points you've been talking about, anyway?" asked Kish.

"Well, you all started out with 100 points. Each time you win a battle, you gain 10 points, and each time you lose one, you lose 5 points. Understand?"

"Then why did they just get ten extra points?"

"Extra little things get you extra points. Oh, and I do except bribery—in certain forms. And as for the intelligence challenges later on…well, I'll decide the points you all win and lose when I cross that bridge." They all stared at her. "Anyhoo, next up," she clicked the spotlight button. "Clef vs. Edward!"

Inu-Yasha snickered. "Oh good, they're BOTH shrimps."

"WHO 'YA CALLIN' SHORT?" demanded Clef. "I'm 700 years older than you!"

"What do you mean I'm so short that you need a microscope to see me?" screamed Ed. "Who're you calling tiny, undernourished, two fries short of a Happy-Meal, or—"

"I didn't say any of those things!" yelled Inu-Yasha, trying to protect himself from Ed's wrath.

"Quit it, you two!" yelled Solez, ushering the odd-boys-out into the other room. "Just start your stinking fight, already! And Ed," she cooed. "You are SO NOT short!"

"Eh heh…" Ed smiled at her.

"Edward Elric," screamed Winry from behind her glass window. "WHO is SHE?" she demanded.

"Touchy girlfriend you got there, shorty." said Umi haughtily.

"He is so not by boyfriend." denied Winry. "But yours seems real old, a perfect match, I'd say."

"You've gotta be kidding me!" shouted Umi. "Clef is no boyfriend of mine!"

"Well neither is Ed!"

The two boys stumbled foreword a little as their "girlfriends" bickered about not liking the boy that was supposed to be saving them.

"Ascot is way cuter than Clef!" At this, Clef fell over, a dark rain cloud hovering over his head.

"Al is taller than Ed, and he's younger! That's all that needs to be said!" Edward collapsed at the harsh words, invoking a rain cloud of his own.

"Winry, that's not very nice." said Al.

The girl's heart skipped a beat upon hearing the childish voice from behind her. "A-A-A-AL!" she stuttered. "How the hell did YOU get here?"

"…Plot hole?" he shrugged; Winry slapped her forehead and sighed.

"Yoo-hoo!" called Solez, "Start the damn fight already, or BOTH your little girlfriends will go to my brother!"

"…see if we care." huffed the two boys.

"…Fight now or I'll turn YOU into girls and give you to my brother." At that, the boys scrambled to their feet and assumed their ready stances. "Ready? And remember all magic power is free—FIGHT!" Clef conjured a giant lightning ball and hurled in at Ed, who barely dodged it.

"That's it, takes this!" Ed slapped his hands on the ground, attempting to do some ultra-cool-and-powerful alchemy, but then nothing happened. "What the hell? Hey, little girl!" he shouted at Solez, "I thought you said all magic power was free!"

"I did, but alchemy's not magic—it science. You thought that I'd actually give you the power of a philosopher's stone?"

"Well… yeah."

"Oh Ed," she sighed, laughing at the poor boy. "Equivalent exchange: if everyone else gets free fighting ability, then of course one won't. And that one just happens to be you."

"… kill me now…"

"I will," said Clef, firing another ball of lightning at Ed who turned around with all his rage flaring, transmuted the mage's attack into a giant bowling ball and hit it back at Clef with his auto-mail arm. "Eep." POW!

"Winner—Edward!" cheered Solez dreamily.

"Yay, brother!" cheered Al.

"Way to go Ed!" cheered Winry, sticking her tongue out at Umi who was being dragged away kicking and screaming by Zelos.

"Next up," said Solez, spotlights working their mechanical magic, "Lantis vs. Yoh!"

"Yoh!" yelled Anna, "Get me out of here RIGHT NOW!"

"Say, um… Solez? Can I just forfeit this fight?"

"Yoh, suck it up and take it like a man."

"But its ANNA…" he whined.

"FIGHT!"

"Rats."

Yoh turned to face Lantis, who was charging at him with his BFG, wait, no, his BFS (big fking _sword_). Yoh stared at the oncoming warrior and laughed. He then did his spirit-control-thingy and got out _his_ BFS. Needless to say, within a second Solez shouted "Winner—Yoh!" Oh, poor Hikaru. It seems like all the magic knight's boys are losing, doesn't it? **That's because I hate them all. **_What're you taking about? I thought you wrote this stupid fic so that you could have your 20 favorite guys in the same room. _**Well, yeah. But that doesn't mean I like some of them.**_ Then why'd you put them in here? It's not like you were planning something for the girls' side._** "…"**_ ARE you planning something for the girls' side?_** Silly Solez, you'll just have to wait and find out. **_Are you gonna kill off a couple of boys?_** I plead the fifth.**_ Will one of them be Inu-Yasha?_** No.**_ Whyyyyyyy?_** Because he's soooooo fun to zap. **_Ha ha, he is, isn't he?_ Um, excuse me? **Yes, Zelos? **Can we get on with the story, if you don't mind? _Alright, I just one to know one more thing. _**Yes?**_ When does Jimmy show up?_** Shh! You're ruining the story!**_ You started it!_** Did not!**_ Did to!_ Um…Ladies? The story? **Huh? Oh, right…get on with it girly.**_ I will._ "Next, Luffy vs. Daisuke!" shouted Solez after the new spotlights had stopped. The two boys stepped out into the arena.

"Oh man, Daisuke," shouted Dark, laughing at his counter part. "You are SO dead!"

"Says you!" cried the red head.

"FIGHT!"

Daisuke turned to Luffy, but when he did, Luffy had stretched his arm across the room and had punched his opponent. "Owe!" cried Daisuke, cupping his cheek; he could hear Dark laughing at him from behind the safety glass. "Shut up!" he then heard a snoring, Daisuke whipped around to face Dark but it wasn't him making the noise. Daisuke turned back to Luffy, who had fallen asleep.

"Ugh…I should've seen this coming. Winner—Daisuke!"

"I won?"

"He won?"

"I did it!"

"HOW!" screamed Dark. "Lucky…" he mumbled.

"Next up, Ferio vs. Hayate!"

"Ready to get your butt kicked?" taunted Ferio, drawing out his giant sword.

"I was gonna ask you the same thing." said Hayate, taking out his sword.

"Ready? FI—Hold on!" The boys stumbled forward, annoyed at the new command.

"What is it?" demanded Ferio.

"I've seen the future and this fight takes too long."

"So?"

"So I'm skipping ahead a little?"

"Huh?"

A bright flash of light and then suddenly Hayate was lying on the ground, unconscious. "Winner—FERIO!"

"Ya—" the boy started to cheer, but he soon collapsed from what he assumed was exhaustion.

"Is that the end of this fighting thing?" asked Inu-Yasha.

"Never." said Solez, zapping him.

"Then what's there left?" asked Chrono.

"This." Solez pressed a button on her remote and three new boys fell in from the ceiling.

X

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**End Note:**

Solez: So, who're the new recruits?

Me: Didn't we already discuss this?"

Zelos: No.

Me: Fine. Then I'll give you their initials.

Solez: How will that help?

Me: It won't.

Zelos: Then what's the point?

Me: Exactly. Here they are: J.K.(or in the Japanese version, S.K.)/C.E., K., N.

Solez: What're the last names of the last two?

Me: Eh heh…I can't remember them right now.

Zelos: Then give us a bigger hint.

Me: Fine. First, Shini. Ku./Co. Edi. Next, Kazu. And finally, Naru.

Solez: Do I smell more Shonen Jump characters?

Me: Maybe…

Zelos: Booyah! Boy comics always have the hottest chicks!

Me and Solez: (stares)

Zelos: What?

Me and Solez: (Hits Zelos on head with giant hammers)


End file.
